The Book of Me - Prompt 14 - Dinner Party for family

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 family members, who would you invite?

My paternal Grandfather would be the first guest on my family dinner party guest list.  He is the only grand parent I never met so this would let me know him.  My Dad rarely spoke of his father; his death while my Dad was in college effected my father immensely   and was difficult for Dad to talk about.

Next is my maternal great-grandfather. When his daughter was very young (5 or 6), he took her to live with aunts, telling his daughter her mother had died. But he didn’t take his 2 yr old son.  Some 25 years later, my grandmother learned that her mother was alive and reconnected with her.

Also on the great-grandparent invite list would be a paternal great-grandmother.  She died from complications at childbirth and left 4 children under the age of 3. I think it would be interesting to learn her family story (lots of Civil War vets with her uncles).

Big Gram, a maternal great great grandmother would be invited - she had claimed she was part Native American and I’d like to find out where on her tree this claim came from.  My family was blessed in the Big Gram lived long enough to see her first great great grandchild (I love the photo my grandfather took of the five generations of women.)  As you can tell by the photo, Big Gram got her nickname, not from her physical size, but by her stature as family matriarch.

A paternal great great grandfather served during the Civil War and was injured in the Battle on Fort Wagner (same battle and fort from the movie “Glory”).  He lay injured in a swamp for a day before he was found and ended up having a leg amputated.  Some how he was able to rejoin the war efforts.  What I’ve really found interesting about this relative are some of the beautiful poems he wrote throughout his lifetime.

I’d also pick a couple of my relatives who served during the American Revolution to learn what it was like to live in a place trying to separate themselves from British rule.

Finally, I’d select two or three of the ancestors who immigrated. I think it would be fascinating to find out why they chose to leave their homelands to start anew in what is now the United States. 

Book of Me - Promt 13: Special People / Iconic Figures

If you had to hold a dinner party and could invite a maximum of 12 special people who would you invite?

You can NOT include family in this – the special people could be famous or historical people.

What meals would you serve and why.

I enjoy having dinner gathering for groups and have found my favorite meal is a potluck.  I would ask my guests to bring something that reflects their heritage so we all can try different food servings.

Since I am not allowed to invite my family, this special people / iconic figures dinner party guest list would include:

Margaret Mitchell - Gone With The Wind is one of my favorite movies and I would like to know what Ms. Mitchell thought of how her story was transformed into a cinematic masterpiece.  I also want to know where she got the concept for the character Scarlett O’Hara, especially the hutzpah the character showed. I want to know how Ms. Mitchell saw the character’s life continuing after the story ended.

Pocahontas and Sacajawea : These two Native American women both held important positions in the formation of the United States. Pocahontas with her work with the early settlers, and Sacajawea with the explorers Lewis and Clark.  Considering the importance they both played during their lives in light of their implied weaknesses (based on general thinking during their day) of being women and Native American, these two ladies welded some great power.

I would invite Queen Elizabeth II and her mother to my dinner party.  I think it would be interesting to learn from them what it was like to live in England during the period leading up to WWII and thru the war.  Both ladies, especially the late Queen Mother have been portrayed with the ultimate of class and grace, especially in light of all the turmoil the family was going through.

An invitation to join the dinner party would be extended to another living person, who for her privacy I will call E.  I first met E when she applied for a ministerial position at the church I attended.  She helped me with some of my tougher spiritual issues, and re-awakened a desire of mine to preach the gospel.  E also helped many at the church in finding new ways to minister to the community and world through participation in mission trips and working with housing improvement programs.  Both E and I have moved away from the church we met at and now live at opposite points of the country from each other.  Her spirit and enthusiasm for all is missed.

Another guest on my list is Black Elk, a Native American Elder.  After my father’s death last year, I found personal strength and calm in the words and insight of Black Elk and other Native American leaders.

Albert Bullard Jr. would make my list.  Shortly after his wife gave birth to their only child, Albert left the U.S. to go trapping in Canada and abandoning his family.  I know nothing more on him and would like to learn why he left and what happened to him.  He is not a relative of mine, but is related to my step-children and I would like to fill in some blanks of their family tree.

Sir Elton John makes my guest list. I have enjoyed his music since my teen years and also have found his philanthropy to be well placed.

The Book of Me: Prompt 7 - Maternal Grandparents

The Book of Me prompt for week 7 is Grandparents.

What were their names?

Where were they from?

Were they related? – Cousins perhaps

Where were they born? Another County or state/area?

Photos

What did they do?

Did you know them?

I had a lot of interaction with my maternal grandparents as they lived about 10 miles from my family when they were alive.

My maternal grandfather was Richard Baldwin Haskins, the 2nd child of Charles Emery and Kittie (Parks) Haskins (15 years after the birth of their other child) was born in 1906.

Dick, as my grandfather was better known by, was born in Beverly, MA. He didn’t share much about his childhood, but there were tales that he had been given up as a child and sent to live on work farms in western parts of Massachusetts.  We don’t know why he didn’t live with his parents and are unsure of what happened.  About two years ago I learned that my grandfather’s mother died when he would have been 5, however, based on the 1910 census, he’s not listed as living with his mother as a 4 year old. I've yet to find records as to where his father was at that time.  (Dick's much older brother was listed on the 1910 census living with the mother, but father was not.)

Dick’s married his first wife, Dora in 1931, and their child, Richard Anthony was born a year later.  Dora died in 1937.   In 1938 Dick married Elizabeth Barnes Kneeland.

Dick lived in Massachusetts his entire life, most of it in the central part of the state, primarily in the city of Worcester.  According to the 1930 U.S. Census records, Dick worked as a chauffeur for the state.  My memories of Grandpa and his occupation was him working for Norton Industries in Worcester, Massachusetts on their assembly lines.  

He was a car buff and spoke of close friends who owned an auto dealership: after he retired from Norton’s, Dick would drive for his friend, delivering vehicles between dealerships.  Dick also loved CB radios; his handle was “Red Ball” and he had a red styrofoam ball hooked to car’s antenna.

Dick loved a good joke and his favorite was about “the spark plug that flew”.  Unfortunately I never understood the joke nor picked up the entire tale, but Grandpa loved to at least use the punch line once when ever we gathered for family meals.

Other hobbies Dick had and shared with his grandchildren were fishing (especially using corn hooks) and photography.  Dick would develop and print his own b&w photos and did that for many years.  Another sibling and I have acquired Grandpa’s love of photography, but we now have digital images and don’t have to do any developing.  As I’ve been most interested in family ancestry, it was decided that I was to inherit all of his photographs, boxes and boxes of pictures from when my mom was a young girl, right up to images he took the day before he died.

Grandpa was sick for several weeks in Spring of 1979, but was feeling well in late May.  In fact, he spent May 25, 1979 visiting with hunting buddies and the gang at the car dealership.  That night he attended my high school graduation.  The family went out to dinner to celebrate and Grandpa bragged to the waitress that he was a “big boy” and could un-skewer his own shish kabob. For dessert he ordered his all time favorite dessert, Vanilla Ice Cream.

These details stand out for me for 2 reasons; first because it was my graduation night and second, because Grandpa died in his sleep that night.

Elizabeth Barnes Kneeland was born in June 1917 in Connecticut, the first of two children to Andrew Henry and Pearl Belle (Carpenter) Kneeland.  When she was a young girl, Elizabeth “Betty” and her father moved to Leicester, Massachusetts and lived with an Aunt and her family. While there, Betty was told her mother died and she spent the next 20 years wondering what happened to her younger brother.  According to Betty, the Aunt was very strict both in discipline and in religious belief and Betty was raised in the Roman Catholic faith, taking Frances as her confirmation name.

Betty met her husband Dick when they both worked for the State, he as a chauffeur and she as a secretary.  She became an instant mother on marrying as Dick was widowed with a son.  The same year they married, Betty gave birth to their child, my mother, Janice.

When my mother was very young, Betty decided to find out what had happened to her brother and the family returned to the town in CT where she had been born.  They stopped at the post office to see if someone there could be of assistance. The woman on the desk knew Betty’s brother AND Betty’s mother and grandmother.  For some reason, Betty’s father had lied about her mother’s death.  Betty and her maternal family reconnected and continued to visit each other for another for the rest of their lives.  One favorite family image I have, taken by Grandpa, is of 5 generations with Betty holding the middle position. 

5 generations

Grammy, as we children called her, adored her grandchildren.  She took great delight in spoiling us with baked treats and attention.  After my Grandfather died, because I going to be commuting to college and hadn’t figured out transportation from my home to school, I moved in with Grammy who only lived a mile from the college (and it was on a bus line).  I stayed with Grammy for 4 years, assisting her while she recovered from a broken hip, a stroke and cancer surgery.

Within a 3 month period in 1979, Betty's husband and her mother died.  She never was one to show emotions and even though I was living with her starting the week after Grandpa died, don't recall her crying either in public, nor at home.  She was rather outspoken and harsh in her critique and criticism.

Grammy passed away in 1993.  In accordance with her wishes, we did not have calling hours, but the family had a private viewing.  Because she was being cremated, instead of the traditional casket, the funeral home placed her in what looked to be a cardboard box - sounds tacky I know, but they used sheets and padding and it was Grammy’s style.  

While reminiscing at the family viewing, my older brother made all of us laugh because “Grammy finally had her turn in the box”.  When each of my siblings reached a certain age, Grammy and Grandpa would take us on a trip during a school vacation break. The night before we’d head out, we’d spend the night at Grammy & Grandpa’s.  They didn’t have a spare bed in their apartment, so our bunk for the night was an old refrigerator box that they put pillows and blankets in.

There’s so much more I could write about my grandparents.  I know I will add more to these blogs from time to time. They were all special people and as are my memories of them.

The Book of Me: Prompt 10

Do you have an unexplained memory or memories?

Items

Places

People

Things and times you can remember, but you are not sure where they fit into your past

I’ve been having a hard time with this assignment, but have an unexplained story I’m going to share instead.

As a child, my younger sister and I played “school”. I’m sure this had a lot to do with Mom being a primary school teacher and our spending loads of time helping her with bulletin board decorating after school before we walked home (lived 1 street away). 

Anyways, being the old of the 2 of us and having my own desk in our room, I was the teacher and she was the student.  My teacher role had the name of “Irene Miller” while my sister’s student was Susan.  I’d have my sister do math or spelling, i.e. my homework for which I’d get better marks than if I did it myself.  We played this game for several years.  Don’t remember when or why we stopped, just did.

Fast forward five or so years and we get word that a Great Uncle who was in his 80’s announced that he was getting married.  His bride’s name was “Irene Millet”.  As a 14 yr old I found the closeness of my play teacher name and new Great Aunt rather eerie as well as neat. 

Today I did some more ancestry searching and have learned that Great Aunt Irene’s mother’s maiden name was ... wait for it ... yep, that’s right, Miller.  Anyone want to explain this coincidence?

The Book of Me: Prompt 9 - My Halloween Stories

I faintly remember dressing up for Halloween to go Trick or Treating when I was a young child.  The costumes we had were handed down between the 5 siblings and the costumes from back then entailed a face mask and a pull over the head and stick arms through design for the costume (think pillowcase or trash bad with holes for head and arms).  One in particular that stands out in my memory is a Batman costume my older brother had. Guess it’s because Mom still has the mask nearly 50 years later.

www.unicef.org

Before I was 10, my siblings and I would go trick or treating for UNICEF right after school let out.  Fortunately those folks would also give us kids candy so we didn’t need to go back out later that night.  I also remember having to sort my candy (along with my siblings) and giving up 1/2 of it to be donated to those less fortunate.  We’d sort our candy to make sure we kept our favorite pieces, even trading between siblings before handing over what we didn’t want.

The year I turned 10, my family moved to another town and we had had some issues with boys in the neighborhood just prior to Halloween.  We kids were allowed to visit the 5 other houses on our street for candy and then set us watch areas on our property from various locations - brothers in the trees across the street, Dad in costume on the front porch, sisters and I watching from behind the curtains.  Nothing happened that year nor any other year on All Hallows Eve, although there were different times over several years our house got egged.

One of the years Dad dress as a dummy on the porch we put a speaker next to him so we could add eerie sounds.  A few of the neighborhood boys got in to a discussion as to whether it was a person or a dummy. One boy who was convinced it was a stuffed creation went so far as to kick my Dad in the leg.  You should have seen those guys scream and fall over each other as they tried to get away from us.  My Dad grabbed 2 of the boys (1 being the kicker) and had them sit in front of our garage door while their parents were called to come over.

Other Halloween memories I have as a child were of costume parades at school.  One year (4th grade) I went as a princess and thought I was the most beautiful of all the girls.  Unfortunately when it came time for judging, the best princess award went to one of the truly stunning beauties in my class.  Around that time I decided to try to the beauty prize and started doing my own thing, something I continue to do today.

During college, one Halloween party I attended I went as a frog.  Had a huge frog head and wore green clothes and gloves.  Even spray painted swim fins green for my footwear.  I went to a party store and bought some red paper party horns that uncurl when blown.  I glued a bunch of flies on the end and would go and blow my “frog tongue” into peoples’ drinks, sometimes leaving behind a fly.  (Oh, I was bad that year)

In my 30’s I was in to Ballroom Dancing and the studio would have costume parties.  Sometimes I’d make a costume for an upcoming dance performance and would wear it to those parties. Other times I’d do something goofy, even dressing as Fred Flintstone.

I use to work as a mascot at a store and one year was asked to distribute candy to the kids on Halloween.  Since my mascot costume was already rather large, I tried to think of what I could dress the character up as, while still keeping it a friendly being (no oversized ghost).  I had been working as a crossing guard in my town and opted to adjust my guard vest to fit my larger alter-ego and grabbed my stop sign.  Happily my employer went along with my dressing up the big guy.

While working as a crossing guard, I had a lot of fun and would wear a different hat on the last day of the week for the kids.  I had an interesting collection of hats and costume pieces and didn't care that it wasn't Halloween, I wore them to make others smile.

When my husband and I had our home, I would take joy in decorating the yard for the enjoyment of myself and the trick or treaters - I’d make stuffed dummies to sit on park benches, turn over tomato cages and bend the legs and then cover them with white pillowcases and place them over the walkway lights for illuminated ghosts.  I bought silly  print shirts and hats for hubby and I to wear when the kids came.  Without spending lots of major decorations, my front yard was easily transformed into a kid friendly Halloween scene.

Now we’re living full-time in our RV, traveling all around the U.S.  If we’re going to be at a campground for several days leading up to Halloween, I’ll put out the few decorations I held on to. But if we’re just stopping for the night, we don’t do much for decorations.  Two years ago we were at a campground for Halloween week and Mother Nature decided our decorations weren't enough and added several inches of snow.

The Book of Me: Prompt 7 - Paternal Grandparents

The Book of Me prompt for week 7 is Grandparents.

What were their names?
Where were they from?
Were they related? – Cousins perhaps
Where were they born? Another County or state/area?
Photos
What did they do?
Did you know them?

I considered myself blessed in that I knew 3 of my grandparents and even 1 great grandparent well into my late teen years.  I'm splitting this in to a 2 part prompt, Paternal and Maternal. 

Norman Bartlett in his teens

The one grandparent I did not get to know was my paternal grandfather, so I’ll start with him.  Norman Henry Bartlett was born in April 1895 in Manchester, NH, the first of two children to Herman Luther and Mae (Harris) Bartlett.  Norman was 8th generation born in the U.S. on the Bartlett tree.

From stories my father shared with my siblings and myself, Grandpa Bartlett worked at a shoe factory in Manchester, NH; a fact clarified on my grandfather’s WWI Draft Registration Card which stated he was a foreman at a Shoe Factory in 1917.  After marrying in 1919, Norman moved to Massachusetts, first living in Lowell and then settling in Walpole. While in MA, Norman worked as a welder or machinist in various machine shops.

Both my Dad and his mom had a photo of Norman on display, so I had an idea what my grandfather looked like. Information from the WWI and WWII Registration Cards show that my  paternal grandfather was short and slender, standing 5’6” and weighing 138 lbs.  He had blue eyes and light brown hair. Norman wore glasses and did so from a young age.  He died of a massive heart attack in Oct 1953 at the age of 58.

Norman Bartlett abt 1950

Norman’s wife, my paternal grandmother was Jennie Viola Jenness, born in Sept 1896, in Hill NH. She was the first of four children born to George Milton and Jennie (Emmons) Jenness.  Jennie was 7th generation born in the U.S. on the Jenness tree. In my family, my paternal grandmother was called “Nana”.

Jennie Jennes with parents and brothers

Nana had a tough childhood as her mother died in childbirth when Nana was 4 1/2 yrs old.  For some reason Nana’s father kept her with him but sent his sons off to live with other families.  Nana’s father remarried a year after being widowed and Nana gained an older step-brother, but her younger brothers did not rejoin their father at that time.  The newly blended family moved to Manchester NH where Nana’s father had grown up.

Because her birth mother was Jennie also, my Nana chose to use her middle name of Viola as her primary name and many records refer to her as Viola J Jenness.

Nana’s family lived one street away from Norman’s family in Manchester NH and they both attended the same school, graduating from 9th grade together.

After her husband died, Nana stayed in the house they had lived in for almost another 30 years before she moved to a retirement community closer to their son, my father. She stayed there for just a short time, and was admitted to a nursing home a month before she died in 1983 at the age of 87.

Jennie Jenness in her teens

Jennie (Jenness) Bartlett abt 1950

My siblings and I would save our sewing repair projects for when Nana would come to visit, either spending holidays or a short "vacation" with us. She said it made her feel useful during her visits. Nana's home was about 50 miles frommy home and several times a year we would do a day trip to her home as well.

Because I knew Nana for 22 years I have lots of memories of her.  To describe her physically, I’d say Nana was short, maybe 5’1”, and she was a little bit stocky. Nana had a double chin and a warm friendly smile. She wore wire rim glasses, always was in dresses and stockings (not pantyhose but actual stockings), 1” laced or strapped black shoes and a single string of pearls.

The final piece I’d like to share about Nana pertains to her appearance; her hair. For as long as I knew her (and proven from photographs of her throughout her lifetime) Nana had long hair that she wore in a braid crown, secured with tortoise shell colored hair combs. 

Norman and Jennie - wedding photo

The Book of Me - Prompt 3 - Physical Me

My nana often referred to my size as being “big boned”. I do believe that I take after my father’s side of the family in physical statue. At my birth I weighed 9lb 1oz.  Over the past 52 years, my heaviest weight was 195 pounds. Currently my weight hovers around 180 lbs.  While in high school I stood about 5ft 10inches, but have shrunk a tad and now measure just under 5’9”.  

With these measurements, it’s easy to know I’m not a teeny tiny person. My clothes size is just a number to me - with each manufacturer using their own standards I might wear a size 14 for one dress but an 18 for another dress. I choose clothes based on how they look on me, not by the number. 

My hair was brown in my youth and I started to color it in my 20’s. At first I did hennas to make it appear reddish.  Grey roots started showing in my late 20’s and I changed back to brown hair dye to stay close to my natural color.  In my late 40’s my hair stylist surprised me when she said she was actually coloring my hair with blond colorants. She said she did this to help soften the harsh appearance of the greys with my natural hair colors and because I had spent the summer in the sun and my hair was lighter. I've been coloring my hair "blond" ever since but it still appears brown.

The color of my eyes is hazel, sometimes they appear browner than other days and sometimes they look green.

My smile centerline is off center as I had a lateral incisor on my top row of teeth removed due to another tooth growing in above the others. The lateral incisor was a 2nd tooth and all the teeth in my upper jaw shifted to fill the gap left behind.  I had all my wisdom teeth removed when I was 25.

My hands are fairly large, I find women’s gloves do not fit and must buy men’s large.  My ring size 9.

With regards to scars I have some. There’s a gauge on my left shin from when I fell on a concrete slab, and lots of small scratches and bug bite scars. From surgeries I have 3 small scars on my right wrist - I unfortunately broke the same wrist within 5 years and after the 2nd break, was advised it would need to be pinned and had 3 wires inserted during the healing process.  I also have 2 scars on my left breast from the removal of fibroidal cysts, the first when I was just 16 and the other when I was 32.  I use to joke with my doctor that I’d be having a 3rd cyst removed when I turned 48, keeping with a 16 year schedule, but that did not happen (but my broken wrist surgery happened when I was 49, so maybe my surgery schedule is still on - check back in 2025.)

A non-visible scar stems from an auto accident I was involved in.  I was hit from the other direction and the driver’s door was torn off my vehicle. I suffered broken ribs in that incident.  Since then I’ve been nervous as a passenger in a car, becoming more and more anxious when I’m not behind the wheel.